When you’ve been in a long relationship such as 4 years and a half. It is difficult to face the reality of being single. The reality of living life without that person. You get used to the fact that you’ll wake up every morning with them, you are assured as fudge that he/she is the one for you. The one you want to be spend your whole life with. You had plans, you were on your way to achieving it. However, in the end it didn’t work out. What’s worse is when you’ve done everything in your part to keep the relationship working. You ran after the person you thought would want to fight for what you both had. But, he/she gave up and they just throw all those bittersweet memories.
Every song on the radio seems to matter, the lyrics seems to be surreal. And, you begin to remember everything. From beginning to end, every little details. The good and the bad times, the laughs, giggles and cries you’ve both shared. And with a sigh, your fickle-minded head starts to wonder what went wrong. Along with the good memories you’ve shared, you begin to feel the pain again. Tears are streaming down your face, wishing it could’ve ended differently. Hoping it wouldn’t be that hurting. Because, it is a shame that everything you used to know and wanted, could have wanted is not what it is now. Broken dreams for certain people, people you thought would have wanted the same as you’ve had for them.
It is a constant battle of knowing your worth and knowing what would be the outcome if you have fought for it harder when you knew you can do so much more. A constant battle of how to overcome the haunting memories of your past. A survival guide on how you will be able to outlived everything that you thought was perfect. With a heavy heart, you couldn’t understand how someone you truly love, whom you’ve given your everything treats you like hell. A lot of times, you say it is good riddance. It is their loss and not yours. These are some comforting phrases we tend to say to ourselves. But we can never ran away from the reality that it freaking hurts. ‘Cause we will always think that we were never good enough for them. How odd it is that what started to be so magical and overwhelming ends up a trash. A trash you need to get rid of, a virus you need to cleaned off your system.
How do you even start? Where do you even start?
You will be haunted by it, somehow it will keep on coming back. It’ll be hard, but you need to take the first step in moving on and later on keep on taking those steps one by one, one at a time. The wounds you had are now scars. It is there to remind you of God’s goodness in your life. Though you had those scars, it will never be the end of the line for you. It’ll be a trademark of strength. A reminder of how God has been faithful to you, of how despite the pain you thought you wouldn’t overcome, the hurt you thought would never heal, a broken heart you thought had no use at all because of the shattered pieces is a constant reminder for you to be grateful that when you were weak, He was strong. He delivered you through it. Don’t be afraid to show to the world how scarred you are as a person. Because, there is beauty in hardships, in failures, in insults, in calamities of life. The beauty of how crazy the world could be, that how chaotic life could be, we still have a faithful God.
2 Corinthians 12: 8-10
“Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that is should leave me. But He said to me “my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness”. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions and calamities. For when I am weak then I am strong.
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
Every hurt, every pain, every wound, every loss there is a corresponding blessing. It is a blessing in disguise, never lose heart in loving people. Forgive, put your confidence in the Lord. Let faith arise. Be blessed!